Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

My Thoughts on “Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People” by Reni Eddo - Lodge


It’s hard sometimes to talk about race. I am a 33 year old African American woman, who while privileged in some ways, also knows the limitations put on me because of my race. My race was no choice of my own but my race and my gender combined can be used against me in a way that sometimes no one other than an African American woman might be able to understand. So when I heard about Reni Eddo - Lodge’s “Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People about Race” I felt like at this moment in time I needed to read this book. I needed to read the experiences of another woman of color; and one who lives across the pond. Lodge uses this book to address everything from the history of migration and the slave trade to feminism and class. She even discusses entertainment; highlighting the casting of Norma Dumezweni as Hermonie in Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.
I came to this book expecting to learn that racism wasn’t as bad across the pond as it often seems in the States. However, I walked away believing that it may actually be worse. If you think people are tone deaf here at home you need to read this book. Some of what I read really shocked me. Of course, I understand that these are Lodge’s opinions, her perceptions. But in there is a nugget of the truth and that makes it all the worse. As I read the book I thought about how as a twenty something I internalized my race and I a kindred spirit in Lodge. I felt like I understood why she wanted to just stop talking about race; the logic for me made sense because some of my experiences had been the same. Particularly when it came to feminism.
Lodge addresses the topic of feminism in a very eyes wide open sort of way. She talks about how she feels feminism ignores and sidelines women of color. She talks about how even white feminist can fail to check their privilege and how that can lead to their refusal to understand problems that directly effect women of color. Or how this privilege leads to something even more troublesome; the white feminist belief that all women are on the same level. The latter is one that I feel like I have to explain over and over again in some of my conversations. Unlike Lodge, I do (and she actually still does) talk about race with white people; however, I have stopped talking about feminism with white women. After the 2016 election and the women’s march I decided to only speak about feminist topics in safe spaces. Lodge reminded me in her book that this attitude is not useful. And that my voice is needed the most because silence is desired and expected. Lodges book is a road map to understanding and an example on how and how not to have conversations on controversial topics.

I would recommend “Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People about Race” to anyone that feels ready to give up on the conversations that matter. As well as to anyone that needs some fresh perspective. I gave it 5/5 stars on goodreads.

Here are some of the quotes that resonated with me:

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

An Era of Civility: My re-reading of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice



A few months ago Story Wonk (www.storywonk.com) announced that it would be running a seminar called "In Want of A Wife"; which examines Jane Austen's most popular novel, Pride and Prejudice. I thought that a great time to re-read the story and dive head first into the book for the second time. I read Pride and Prejudice the first time during my freshman year of college and fell head over heels in love with not only Darcy and Elizabeth but also regency England. Why did I love this time period you may ask; honestly simply because it was a era of good manners, a simple life and civility. Yes things are formal and a bit stuffy but in that world all that is good and proper is praised. Something that seems to be messing from the times we live in today. Not to mention that the prose written during that period is absolutely beautiful. What I also love about Jane Austen's take on family life during this time period is that she is so willing to poke fun at all the silly things that go on within a family; this is perhaps what makes Pride and Prejudice so engaging.
Pride and Prejudice is (in my mind) one of the most romantic books I have ever read because of the way Darcy and Elizabeth are thrown together. She thinks him proud and rude; very mean spirited and willing to control the lives of others simply because he can. Elizabeth is primarily judged , by Darcy, based on the actions of her family. She could be viewed as wild, loud and impertinent as her sisters Lydia and Kitty. As bookish as Mary, as sweet and impersonal as Jane. As well as, as much a gossip and phony as her mother. However Elizabeth, though headstrong, is only guilty of allowing her first impression and acquaintances to shape her opinions and views of those she comes into contact with. Elizabeth is also extremely observant but only when it come to the relationships of others. She seemed to be completely blindsided by Darcy's regard for her. Darcy once rejected by Elizabeth does his best to change her opinion of him. He takes inventory of his behavior and tries to right his wrongs. Its not until his Aunt, Lady Catherine (in one of the best chapters of the book ...56) confronts Elizabeth about her ties to Darcy that he has hope that she loves him back.
Through it all, we all get to see the feelings of Darcy and Elizabeth shift in a very natural and beautiful way. They grow from despising one another,  to civility bordering on indifference to a slow, burning, joyous love for each other. Most often relationships that happen this way in books (and sometimes in life) are the most memorable. 
 While re-reading the book my feelings about Jane changed. When I first read the book I liked her, but upon finishing it this time I no longer do. I found her to be weak and a tad selfish. For the life of me I can not understand how she so was so easily duped by Bingley's sister. Sadly, I like her better in the movie than I do in the book. Another character I found myself wanting to scream at was Lydia. I literally kept thinking of how badly I would have loved to be able to slap her. I did not remember her being as annoying as she was. Overall, I enjoyed my re-reading of the novel very much. In fact, I found myself kissing my book goodnight as I sled it back into its place of honor on my shelf.

Quotes I loved: 
"If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged but one word from you would silence me on the subject forever."

"I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is to long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun."

For more reviews be sure to follow me at www.delawarebookaddict.blogspot.com