When Words Can't Express

Loss...is a funny word. Its a tangible, werid word. And its multidimesonal in scope and in feeling. Loss is something we all experience. We lose things every day. Small things. Sometimes big things. But most of all we lose time. Time to be with those we love. Time to express our gratitude just for that moment. We are always losing something. At 3:07, 8/26/2017 - I lost something. A piece of my heart. A small spot in which dwelled a person that is irreplaceable. At 3:07 am, 8/26/2017 - I lost my biggest cheerleader, the most complex person in my life. I lost the woman that taught me my first prayers, bought me my first Bible. And who allowed me to be myself; flaws and all, quirks and all. At 3:07 am God shifted my world; he set it spinning while seemingly leaving me speechless and motionless. So it is now that words, written ones comfort. It is now that I can write what I can't say aloud. Alice Marie Brown has been called home. She has trancesended this life. My heart feels hollow; my very being is feels silent. And words can never truly express the love, saddness and gratitude I feel all at once. She is mother and grandmother and friend and fierce protector. And God Even as she was flawed, God even with her short comings I loved her. Unconditionally and with my whole heart. No one can ever compare to my grandmother. I feel saddness because she is not here physically. I can't hold her hands or kiss her goodbye anymore. I am grateful that God has seen fit to end her suffering; I am happy that she is with her Mother and Father and other family. I lean now fully into the promises of God. She is absent from me now but she is present with the Lord. That gives my heart and mind the peace they need. I will miss her for the rest of my life but this is only a farewell....a parting until we meet again.